Excuses, excuses


Don’t you hate it when you read a blog and the blogger in question gives a long and boring explanation as to why she’s not been posting much/her blog’s turned to a complete sack of crap? (Delete as appropriate).

Don’t you also hate it when the reason they give for this lack of attention to, let’s face it, something that very few people could actually give a stuff about, is something nauseatingly self congratulatory? Something like “Sorry for not posting, people, but I’ve been so busy with spending my lottery win…” or “Sorry for not posting people, it’s just that what with that affair I’m having with (insert actor of choice here-used to be Brad Pitt was a popular choice, suddenly not so much now he’s grown a raggedy old beard. Gerard Butler, then. Except don’t you think he looks like a potato?) I’m lucky if I can make my way to the computer for physical exhaustion”.

Well, I am that nauseating blogger. The Misssives have suffered of late. Effectively they’ve suffered for the whole of this year, and my attendance on some of your blogs has also been pitiful. Nauseating reason? Well it’s because I wrote a book with a certain other recently sloppy blogger called Emma. It was a lot of work, we had our ups and downs, like finding an agent, then finding out she was a crappy agent, and and feeling very sorry for ourselves, but then carrying on anyway. But then, last month, a rather splendid Australian publishing company with impeccable taste bought our book. So the nauseating reason is, we wrote a book called Cocktails at Naptime and it’s getting published. With illustrations and everything! Huzzah!

I promise not to turn into one of those awful people who bang on about their book all the time, but I will let you know when it’s out there (November 2010) in case you want to shoplift a copy.

I’m editing it just now (because there are loads of shit bits that have to be made not shit) so again posting may be light for the next couple of months. Just wanted to tell you my news and let you know that I really appreciate the people who still do read the blog and comment occasionally. It will go back to being a worthwhile read soon, I promise.

C’mon it’s not that bad, I could have been blogging about the state of my teeth every week (doing fine with the braces, by the way- amazing improvement- I look like Marie Osmond) or my dog (The Black Menace is fine, he’s still pulling me off my feet and biting the face off the odd soft toy, but otherwise he’s a little champione) or my husband (Meeester got singled out by the dame in a panto we went to on Saturday and ridiculed- it made his day. He now wants to be a pantomime dame. Those reading this who know him will be able to visualise this). Or what my kids are up to (that’s them at the top of the post standing next to the dead sperm whale that washed up on the beach beside us-. We know how to entertain them kids, we really do. You’ve never smelled anything like it in your puff).

And, so, how are you?

Don’t ever miss a Misssive, subscribe!
Add to Google

Stumble Upon Toolbar

December 7, 2009. blogging, books, Emma K, excuses, writing. 15 comments.

Empty brain here

Let’s get on with the third installment of my blogging research study which I’m now calling The Blogpsyche because it sounds sci-fi and exciting like a scientific device in Barbarella.

Before we get onto Part Three I would like to do you all the courtesy of answering my own questions from Part Two of Blogpsyche, the research for my talk about blogging at The Word Festival in Aberdeen, that you, yes you, can be a part of, simply by telling me your own thoughts on your blog and blogging in general.

Here are the previous questions and my answers:

1. Did you write stuff at all before starting your blog? Tell me more…

Yes, all the time. First of all, I do write stuff for a living anyway but nothing exciting, just scripts for productions at work and educational/corporate material, so that doesn’t count. Man, the things I’ve had to write about…..jeez. But in terms of writing for fun, I have little notebooks full of crapola from my brain all over the place. But none of it is anything more than stuff to remind me of places I’ve been or things I’ve seen. I wouldn’t show them to anyone, but now I think they could be useful to turn into other things that I would show to people, like blog posts or short stories or…gasp…books. I have also sporadically kept a diary, volumes of which are kept encased in a chest made of Kryptonite in a secret cavern in the South Pole protected by an army of psychotic polar bears.

In addition to all that, as I’ve already mentioned, I used to write big long group emails to people when on my travels and before that letters, which sadly I can’t get back to find out what I was doing and thinking when I was in Germany and Spain as a student, or New Orleans as a illegal immigrant worker, or on that Guyanan penal colony when I was convicted as a murderer and then escaped with only a half blind Dustin Hoffman for company.


2. Did any other writers or bloggers inspire you when you started?

Oh absolutely yes, and they still do. I think I have to name names. My friend Cammy of Stuff on TV made me wise up to the fact that I had to get onto a proper blog platform and start doing this properly for a wider audience. He’s also very funny. In terms of style I read Little Red Boat by Anna Pickard and thought, she’s so funny and she writes about everyday stuff, and her personality comes across through her writing style. She’s consistently good. I was also a big fan of Tired Dad, who would always tell stories instead of just keeping a diary. He inspired me a lot. There’s a hole in my blog reading list since he stopped. On a similar theme I’ve enjoyed the style of Danny Evans of Dad Gone Mad, although his blog has changed slightly since his book deal, which is a common thing, I guess with successful bloggers who then get published. This is not a criticism, just an observation. I’m not surprised he’s been published. He can take the most mundane occurance and make it funny with the way he uses language.

Another ex-blogger who has now stopped for personal reasons was Running in Wellies who used to edit a blog magazine, and would include material from The Misssives in the stuff she selected for inclusion and also became a regular reader/read of mine. She brought me readers and confidence. I miss her. Another early find of mine was Emma K from Mommy Has a Headache who has become a friend and writing buddy on a project. More recently Kate Lord Brown of What Kate Did has inspired me to take my writing to the next level, and to think more seriously about it. Her blog is a must read for aspiring writers.

3. Has blogging inspired you to write material outside of your blog?

Well, I’ve already indicated some of this above. I have been included in the blog book “You’re not the Only One” edited by ex-blogger Peach. I cannot over state how exciting and inspiring this was for me. I am sat side by side in the book with many of the bloggers who inspired me in the first place and immensely grateful to Peach for including me.

I am now writing two books- one non-fiction book written with a co-writer which has only just been taken on by a literary agent and another fiction one on my own which I hope to concentrate on more when the first one is finished/or, fingers crossed, accepted by a publisher. I also send short stories to magazines when I have time. I didn’t send my writing anywhere until I started blogging. This is largely due to the confidence I’ve been given by readers. So thanks to you all.

I also am still chugging away writing material for industry eight hours a day but that’s for bread, not for kicks. No one writes about the effects of Hydrogen Sulphide on the human body for kicks. Not even Stephen King.

OK, it’s your turn.

Here are the three questions for Part Three of the snazzily named Blogpsyche. Even if you haven’t been involved up to now, go ahead and answer them. And you can still answer my previous questions by going here and here:

1. Has your blog ever got you into trouble?

2. Where do you draw the line in your blog?

3. What has been family and friends’ reaction to your blog?

As before, if you don’t want to comment publically but still want to tell me something you can email me as a few of you have already done.
I look forward to reading your comments.

Don’t ever miss a Misssive, subscribe!
Add to Google

February 6, 2009. blogging, Blogpsyche, reactions to blogs, writing. Leave a comment.

Every Day I Write the Book

Robert Burns: Would he have blogged?
Definately. What better way to get the ladies?

First of all, thanks to all who responded to my initial three questions about blogging. Ahh, you’re just great, so you are. If you missed it, then click here to put your oar in the comments box. There’s no time limit, despite what I said earlier.

So to recap, for those who missed the last post, or for any goldfish reading, I’m doing some research for a talk I’m going to give on blogging. In the next wee while I’m asking my blogger readers some questions about their blog-life.

But before I wade in with your next set of questions, one commenter asked me via the email, whether I was going to answer my own questions. It is only fair. Here are my answers to the first three questions from the Misssives post What’s It All About, Alfie? (Which was very nearly What’s it All About, Archie?, after my sister’s father in law sang the wrong words, but only she would have got it, and you would have thought me a mental, so I reverted).

1. What prompted you to start a blog in the first place?
I was doing a lot of travelling in one particular year. First off, I took ten of my students on an exchange trip to Finland for two weeks. During that time I sent regular group emails to friends and family with stories of the goings on of my students and impressions of the land of Death Metal that is Finland. People seemed to find them funny and some people even wrote to me to say that they had read bits to friends or passed them on. Two months later I was off to Sri Lanka on a school trip with my husband (check me!). I was speaking to my own students about how I could set up a travel website so that I could put up my diary for my friends and family, and one of my students said I should do it as a blog. I didn’t know what a blog was. My students set me up with a Myspace page, and off I went.

This kind of thing would happen quite a lot when I was a lecturer. My students also showed me how to retrieve voice mail messages off my mobile, send texts and they told me what a MILF was. Since I left teaching I wonder what stuff I’m missing, now I don’t have them to keep me right.

2. What keeps you doing it?
It has an addictive quality, doesn’t it? Once back from Sri Lanka, I missed doing it, so I started blogging outside of travelling. Pretty soon I started reading other people’s blogs and this lead to the realisation that I was on the wrong blog platform. I didn’t use the acronyms OMG or WTF or LOL and I hadn’t a photo of myself with a fringe over one eye, my breasts exposed and my cheeks sucked in. Myspace was not for me. I moved to Blogger and started the Misssy M Misssives properly. One of the first things I started to read was Post of the Week which introduced me to others’ blogs. When I got first shortlisted for Post of the Week myself, I felt so excited I was nearly sick. Even though I don’t think it got me many readers, it gave me a bit of validation which I think I needed when I first started. In fact POTW isn’t doing so well recently…you should all go over and start nominating blog posts you like to reinvigorate it, it is a great idea. See my side bar for a link.

Nearly three years on I would have to say that the readers and feedback I get is a part of the reason I still do it. But to be honest I’d still be writing blogs even if I got no comments. I can’t imagine giving up, it’s part of my life. Even my friends have started calling me Misssy. Misssy’s not my real name, you do know that, right? What would that say about my parents’ literacy levels?


3. Has it evolved into anything different as time has gone on?
Well, yes and no. It’s not a travel blog anymore, because I’m not travelling all the time, more’s the pity. I suppose it’s just a personal blog, but I do try to tell stories rather than write a diary. Occasionally, I try different things, like I have recently stuck up a short piece of fiction, and then I had a heated debate which seemed to go down well. I rarely do serious stuff, so I suppose I err on the side of humour. I can’t see that changing. Life’s too serious as it is.

I’d also like to think my writing’s got better. Because if it hasn’t then…. oh dear.

****

And so to the next set of questions for you all. To the comments box with you!

1. Did you write stuff at all before starting your blog? Tell me more…

2. Did any other writers or bloggers inspire you when you started?

3. Has blogging inspired you to write material outside of your blog?

Again, email if you don’t want to share publically. In the words of Dr Frasier Crane, “I’m listening…”

STOP PRESS: Part three questions now up. Click here!

Don’t ever miss a Misssive, subscribe!
Add to Google

January 29, 2009. blogging, writing. 1 comment.

What’s it All About, Alfie?

I have been asked to give a talk about writing for the Word Festival in Aberdeen. More specifically, the talk is to be about writing a blog. So, in the spirit of research (cloaking nosiness) , I thought I’d turn to the readers of the Misssives (the ones who are also bloggers, that is) and beyond, to get your opinions and personal experience. I have a shedload of material I can say about writing the Misssives, but the whole hour can’t all be about my blog. Can it? No it can’t, narcissism or no.

So, over the next couple of months leading up to the talk, I thought I’d do the odd post where I ask you all a question or two about your blog and your blogging habits. I have loads of questions, actually, but I’ll limit them to two or three per post.

Today, I want to concentrate on one thing; how your blog started.

So, I have three questions.

1. What prompted you to start a blog in the first place?
2. What keeps you doing it?
3. Has it evolved into anything different as time has gone on?

Of course, if anyone is too shy to reveal anything in the comments box- email me. All contributions are welcome.

C’mon fellow narcissists, let’s talk about you!

Stop Press: Jan 29
Thanks for the responses so far- have had a few via email too.For those of you still ruminating- hurry up and comment as I’m putting up the next three questions very soon, (and to the person who mentioned it- I will start the new post with my answers to my initial 3 questions)

If you’ve already given me answers to these questions, you can jump straight to my next three questions on blogging here.

Don’t ever miss a Misssive, subscribe!
Add to Google

January 28, 2009. blogging, writing. Leave a comment.

This Sporting Life

Disclaimer: Three Mexican Stereotypes are included in this post

(Only two are my fault)



A couple of things have happened in the last couple of weeks. You may have noticed I’ve not been posting as much. But it annoys me when bloggers blog about not posting as much, and why. So I won’t on the whole, go there. Thanks to those who contacted me to check that I wasn’t trapped under something heavy or kidnapped by banditos, anyway.



But one of those things that has happened in the last week or so is worth mentioning. Meeester had a sporting accident. A sporting accident which had him off work and by my side here in Misssy M HQ, also known as the House of the Flying Martinis. Also known as my office, during business hours.



Meeester has been asking me why I’ve not been writing about his sporting accident on the Misssives. So here it is. He will love that I have referred to his injury as “a sporting accident.”



Meeester and my sister, Misssy A, are keen badminton players. Misssy A seems to be content with playing every Monday night and thrashing the local competition roundly with the minimum of fuss. Meeester however, will take every chance to play badminton that is offered to him, and given that he is chums with the PE teacher at his school, those opportunities seem to be every break and lunchtime of every single day. He has been known to stand looking at his reflection in a mirror with his badminton racket, practicing moves. Cynics would say this has more to do with admiration than tactics.



Those cynics would be right.



It was only a matter of time before pride came before a fall. And as my sister put it, Meeester is the only person who lunges for shuttlecocks like former Scotland goalkeeper and national bespectacled (stop it….!) hero, Jim Leighton.



One ripped calf muscle later and Meeester was be-crutched and housebound signed off by the doctor for a week. Day one, he was immobile, day two he was shuffly but now able to interfere in Misssy’s working day, Day Three he was pottering about the house with my Papa’s old walking stick pretending to be my Mexican maid, Concepciόn.



“Meeesus M, I clean your computer. Eeet clean now.” he’d say, brandishing a duster.



“Meeesus M, I read your book… “ he’d say, hovering over me, “I like eet. I make few changes. Hope you no mind….Make hero Mexican. Eet better now…”



By Thursday Meeester is back at work, with walking stick. Securely wedged where sun don’t shine.

The badminton world weeps for its loss.



****

Many thanks to all of you who gave me your comments on your favourite Christmas films on the previous post, by the way. What an overwhelming response! Anyone would have thought you were forced. Oh, that’s right…you were.

If you’ve yet to comment, you can still do it- all opinions count. Some quite surprising films have made it in there….go here to make your views known. And listen out on the 21st December for the results on the radio.

Don’t ever miss a Misssive, subscribe!

Add to Google

December 5, 2008. Bad nurses, busy, injuries, Meeester, stereotypes, writing. Leave a comment.

The Original Tiff

I’ve discovered a lovely writing site called Your Messages. The blog owners give you the first line and you have to respond with an ending making the final piece 300 words or 30 words exactly. It only runs til the end of November and I wish I’d found it 20 days ago. Anyway, I thought I’d post today’s Misssy effort here, because you might enjoy it. The given first line is in bold.

“ Leeches were once a favoured species. They sang; their bodies were encased in mother of pearl shells. The first leech to taste blood said it was all a terrible mistake.” she said.

“Are you saying that to make me feel better? Because it doesn’t.” he said, back turned in anger.

“No, I’m just saying it to remind you that we’re not the only ones. We’re just the ones that seem to get remembered.”

“Yeah, TELL me about it. It’s all people ever talk about.”

“You must admit, it was kinda worth it, wasn’t it?” she said, as she tickled the back of his neck, teasingly.

“Worth it! Worth it?! Only you could say such a thing,” he said as he shrugged her hand away.

“OK, stay in the huff about it, it was only a lousy garden. If you stopped sulking, maybe we could get on with finding another one. But no, with you it’s got to drag on for days, hasn’t it?”

“Shut up.”

“I will not shut up. All I did is what any woman would do. All I did is what you would have done eventually. Once you’d got over yourself and your appendage.” she said, pointing at his crotch.

“Don’t you dare point at that! You’ll be lucky if you ever see it again after what you did!” he shouted. “Anyway, you’re one to talk, that serpent is a pretty telling metaphor, lady! How do you explain that one, eh?”

“Oh give it a rest. So, what’s this place called anyway? Adam…. I think we’re lost,” she sighed looking around at the barren land around them.

“No we’re not. We’re not lost”

“Let’s ask someone…”

“No, we ARE NOT LOST!” he fumed as he walked on ahead, his fig leaf blowing in the harsh wind.

Don’t ever miss a Misssive, subscribe!
Add to Google

November 21, 2008. Genesis, marital bust ups, men and directions, original sin, temptation, writing. Leave a comment.

Sadly, My Daddy was just A Bank-Robber

Nepotism in action, yesterday

Off travelling?

Yes! I’m doing that Gap Year thing like a twat.

Thinking of writing a blog whilst you’re there?

Yes! I figure if Misssy M can do it, then so can I!

The perhaps the Guardian might showcase it on their website?

Oh that’d be lovely! Flipping heck that was easy! I didn’t have to spend years building up a readership or anything.

Oh but hang on…

What is it? Oh, will the blog have to be good? Maybe original or refreshing?

No, no that’s not a problem. It’s just, well…your Dad’s not a travel writer on first name terms with the travel editor of the paper is he?

No, my Dad works for the gas board.

Oh dear. Better sling your hook then. Get to obscurity and damn your insolence!

*******




For those of you who haven’t seen this story already. It’s this:


A 19 year old man-boy has hugely dull and unimaginitive first blog post showcased on the Guardian Travel site. What has he done to garner such a gig? He’s got the right parents. Luckily the site’s commenters sussed this out straight away. Read the blog, but then, even better, read the comments. Some comments are evil (some Guardian site commenters make Genghis Khan look like a pussycat) but most are extremely funny.


Just a little note to all my overseas readers writing incisive, witty and dedicated blogs about life abroad. You know who you are. My dears, don’t be down about the fact that the Guardian chooses to showcase the mutterings of an annoying teenager traveling the well beaten track of Thailand courtesy of his Daddy’s connections in the travel writing game.

Don’t be annoyed that they chose to do this instead getting off their arses and actually reading any of the quality blog writing already out there with a proven track record, authenticity and readers.

Don’t be disheartened ….because poor little backpacking Max Gogarty will be lucky if he can get a letter posted without vitriolic comment when the Guardian website regulars are finished with him.

Read of the week, this. Says a lot about the media today, I think.


Read the original post here.


And then read the response from the Travel Editor who needs a kicking here.

February 19, 2008. blogging, Daddies, Guardian, Max Gogarty, media, nepotism, travel, writing. Leave a comment.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.