Amy W’s heroic little skanky punctured toes…
her parents must be so proud.
I find the concept of heroes completely ridiculous. “Hero” is a word often misused. No more so than today when a media fodder poll came out where under 25′s were asked who their heroes were.Clearly those respondents never really thought about what they were being asked.
To me, a hero is someone who carries out actual acts of heroics, not in a- “quick take a photo of me shaking hands with a wet leper, but have a Johnson’s anti-bac wipe ready for after” kind-of-a-way, but in the other way that does not involve TV telethons or Hello magazine.
Now, I’ve long since come to the conclusion that the majority of folks are eejits and really, it’s best just to accept the fact and move on, but it seems that most people polled claimed that Amy Winehouse and Pete Docherty were their respective heroine and hero. Maybe they heard the word heroine wrong?
“Excuse me madam, who is your favourite heroine?”
“Right, favourite heroin user, erm…tough one. I always liked that Courtney Love, but she’s cleaned herself up now so maybe she doesn’t count, and well, Sid Vicious is dead, so erm, I suppose it’d have to be Amy Winehouse, yeah, put me down for Winehouse. She’s probably my number one dragon chaser, these days.”
You don’t need me to outline why Amy ‘n’ Pete are not heroes. The results of this poll mainly adds fuel to my misanthropic claim above.
Put the deeds of Amy and Pete onto any non-famous person and we’re looking at primo examples of the dregs of society.
Can you imagine your teenage kid saying, “Mrs W from next door is my hero because even though she’s fucked on heroin all day, and her man’s in chokey for perverting the course of justice, she still manages to get her eyeliner on straight and inject skag into her toes whilst wearing a tight mini-skirt and not spilling any of her brandy and ginger at the same time!”
“Mr D from down the road is my hero cause even though he’s a total junkie who has done next to bugger all in his career, he’s really keeping his head down in jail, so that he can get back on the streets soon to score some decent junk. What an inspiration!”
I don’t know any real heroes, but since we’re playing fast and loose with the term “hero”, I know of one man who is today carrying out a minor heroic act.
Today Meeester is appearing in a fashion show for some school charity thing. He’s always being asked to do stuff like this. He puts it down to his general gorgeousness.
He picked up his outfit from one of the show’s sponsoring clothes shops yesterday. It is a brown and orange striped long-sleeved polo shirt, and tan, “Dad-wear”, pleated-front slacks. He says they are both made of polyurethane and when he tried them on, his reflection in the mirror made him want to die.
” I looked like a 65 year old man on Christmas morning”, he said.
But as the show must go on and he is the mere eye-candy destined only to show off these garments to his best ability, he will wear them with aplomb.
And presumably deal with the skin rash they will inevitably cause in a timely fashion.
Go Zoolander, you’re my nylon clad “hero”! (Watch out for static build-up…)
April 23, 2008. heroes, media bollocks, Meeester, Winehouse. .
