Attack of the Basking Swedes
We had a day off today- what I mean by that is we put the tuc-tuc back and hung around the bungalow and pool. After touring the island yesterday I realize that we’ve actually chosen the nicest place on the island to stay.
Certainly the beach is superclean, the sea is clear and it’s relatively quiet. I can’t believe how lovely that picture of the beach looked in yesterday’s blog. The beach really was dirty. There were plastic bottles everywhere, as well as some broken glass ones. Not really what you’d expect. It depresses me that people can’t pick up their rubbish and stick it in a bin.
Mind you, we were responsible for a teeny bit of littering yesterday. Eve was TOLD to hold on tight to her crisps whilst sitting in the tuc-tuc (Eve always likes to have a snack handy). She’s hosing into a family pack of crisps and at full tuc tuc speed (a terrifying 20 mph) she lets go of the bag, which (still mostly full) hits the motorcyclist in the chest behind us. Poor guy, what a fright he got. Being Thai, of course, he doesn’t think to go completely radge and start fisticuffs with anyone…he slows down to check he can’t help us by retrieving whatever it was that hit him in the chest at full velocity. John hasn’t quite mastered the emergency stop and can do nothing but wave apologetically. Eve starts howling; after all she is now snackless and bereft….
We christen our tuc tuc Matilda, as it goes well with the Flying Martinis. And she does us proud getting us all the way from North tip to South of the Island.
I tell you, being in Thailand makes Western women feel massive. All the Thai ladies and sub size zero, no clothes in Thai shops will fit even a size ten western woman, and to add insult to injury, sometimes I have to get out of the tuc-tuc as my weight is stopping it from moving over a bump or as yesterday, from stopping the whole thing sinking into sand. I get pretty good at nipping out, pushing the thing up a hill and then hopping back on as John accelerates.
The photo of John and the kids in the tuc tuc was taken on one of these occasions. Feeling the thing sinking into the sand, I hop out, but embarrassed by the admission that my 9 stones is too much for Matilda to take, I pretend to the people behind us that I was getting off anyway, to take photos….
You might be surprised that I have time to blog whilst on my hols but I tend to do it at around midday, when it is just too hot to go out. We all have a break around now. The kids go and watch a DVD and John starts cocktail hour. However, in this resort the pool is still pretty crowded. Well not the pool, but the loungers anyway. No it’s not the Germans as Stan Boardman would have it, but this place is 90% occupied by Swedes.
I don’t get why a race of blondies can be impervious to UV rays. I have never seen people basking in the full glare of the midday sun like this lot. They are all dark brown and seem to be lying there from well before we surface in the morning til about 3pm. I am, today, delighted that I have managed to procure one remaining sun lounger as they are always occupied by blond tanned Swedes. I can’t believe it. I’m not even on it now- I’ve germanically put my towel down like a dog marking her territory and will leave it there the whole day. I’m nothing if diplomatic.
I can only stand sitting in the sun for ten mins at a time, I have along way to go til I can reach Swedish National Basking Standards. I want to know the skin cancer rates in Sweden- someone find out for me now! It’s not fair.
By the way, the Misssymartin Misssives has a guest blog from none other than Jack Martin later on. I believe he’s going to tell you all about his night out at the Thai Boxing Championships last night. Not to be missed!
