Aberdeen Beeaaatch
Seen in the window of the twee Scottish tourist shop in my town today. A t-shirt on a female dummy. It is white and has a has blue slogan that reads:
“I was born a bitch, what’s your excuse?”
“Aberdeen, Scotland”
It has little Scottish St Andrew’s flag embroidered below .
What the blazes? I am absolutely at a loss. Is “I was born a bitch, what’s your excuse?” Aberdeen’s Slogan? Was there a vote on this? Did I miss a meeting?
1. What has being a bitch got to do with being in Aberdeen, Scotland?
2. Is this a traditional well known quote from the works of Rabbie Burns or Sir Walter Scott that I have missed? It surely must have some cultural significance…why else would it be there above our national flag?
Maybe it’s an Irvine Welsh quote. But surely that would be more,
“I was born a doss c**t, what’s your excuse”
3. Maybe it’s an attempt to capture the modern Scots way of talking. A bit ghetto, you know. Like those t-shirts that circulated back in the late eighties that said “Pure Dead Brilliant” on them. So then why does it sound like something that would come out of the mouth of a trailer trash Jerry Springer guest?
4. Who are going to buy these? Bitches, presumably.
5. If this is what’s in the window, what the hell else is inside? I may go in the shop tomorrow to find out. Maybe there’s such delights as t-shirts with:
“See Glasgow and
get to f**k”
“Edinburgh….
City of Bastards”
“Get tae Fochabers”
“ I 
Dundee.
Whit the F**K are ye gonna dae about it, pal”
6. The phrase in itself doesn’t make sense. It suggests that being born a bitch is OK.
Claiming that you were born a with a disposition towards extreme violence may just get one off in court after committing the most heinous of crimes? I can just see Eichmann trying that one out in Nuremberg,
“I was born a fascist genocidal evil monster, what’s your excuse?”
“You’ve got us there, Adolf!”
7. So imagine you’re an American tourist, and you go in and buy this for someone back home as a souvenir. “Here you go, Mom. I saw this and thought of you.”
8. How many babies do you know that are bitches? You can’t be born a bitch! That’s ludicrous. I bet even Margaret Thatcher was cute once.
9. Scottish tourist board marketing meeting on a range of “ironic” t-shirts.
“It doesn’t say shortbread, tartan and haggis. It says ‘Come to Scotland, we may threaten you, but we’ll do with with our famous sense of humour.’”
Aberdeen Beeeeaaatch
“Aberdeen, Scotland”
It has little Scottish St Andrew’s flag embroidered below .
What the blazes? I am absolutely at a loss. Is “I was born a bitch, what’s your excuse?” Aberdeen’s Slogan? Was there a vote on this? Did I miss a meeting?
1. What has being a bitch got to do with being in Aberdeen, Scotland?
2. Is this a traditional well known quote from the works of Rabbie Burns or Sir Walter Scott that I have missed? It surely must have some cultural significance…why else would it be there above our national flag?
Maybe it’s an Irvine Welsh quote. But surely that would be more,
3. Maybe it’s an attempt to capture the modern Scots way of talking. A bit ghetto, you know. Like those t-shirts that circulated back in the late eighties that said “Pure Dead Brilliant” on them. So then why does it sound like something that would come out of the mouth of a trailer trash Jerry Springer guest?
4. Who are going to buy these? Bitches, presumably.
5. If this is what’s in the window, what the hell else is inside? I may go in the shop tomorrow to find out. Maybe there’s such delights as t-shirts with:
get to f**k”
“Edinburgh….
City of Bastards”
“Get tae Fochabers”
“ I Dundee.
Whit the F**K are ye gonna dae about it, pal”
6. The phrase in itself doesn’t make sense. It suggests that being born a bitch is OK.
Claiming that you were born a with a disposition towards extreme violence may just get one off in court after committing the most heinous of crimes? I can just see Eichmann trying that one out in Nuremberg,
“You’ve got us there, Adolf!”
7. So imagine you’re an American tourist, and you go in and buy this for someone back home as a souvenir. “Here you go, Mom. I saw this and thought of you.”
8. How many babies do you know that are bitches? You can’t be born a bitch! That’s ludicrous. I bet even Margaret Thatcher was cute once.
9. Scottish tourist board marketing meeting on a range of “ironic” t-shirts.
“It doesn’t say shortbread, tartan and haggis. It says ‘Come to Scotland, we may threaten you, but we’ll do with with our famous sense of humour.’”
