The Dutch Sign Compendium
This evening we leave these flat shores and head back to the Kingdom of Rain.
At the beginning of our time in Holland I stupidly promised those who read my nonsense that I would further nonsensify it by providing a Dutch sign that was either rude, or sniggerworthy. It has been surprisingly easy but has turned me into a bit of an idiot.
For example I got all excited when I saw a neon sign that I thought said “Jism Shop” and started shrieking at Meeester to stop the car. It had the letter i missing, and realising this, I was crestfallen and feeling a little stupid about yelling “Stop! Look! A Jism shop!” in front of my family.
I may have no Dutch blogs left in me but bizarrely I have a range of signs that didn’t quite make it into the blogs. Anyone reading the Misssives for the first time may get the impression that I am, infact, an adolescent boy. Sadly, I am a 38 year old woman. *Sigh*
Anyway here they all are for you all to access your inner idiot:
Zit Stof: A shop entirely dedicated to all things acne
The Winkel Passage: I’d rather not go in there, to be honest.
Trompet Boom: The reason I like this is
because Trumpet Bum was apparently
my dad’s nickname for me as
a baby as I was prone to loud bum trumpeting.
The Slaap Studio: I got so excited
when I thought this was a beauty salon. (It wasn’t)
De Quack: I’ll just wait til I go home and go to the NHS, thanks
De OpSlag Box: Lady of Ill repute in a box.
The perfect Christmas gift for that unmarried uncle?
The Homo Monument: My most childish effort.
There was no actual monument. Answers as to what it could be
on a postcard please cos I’m not even going there…
The “Te Huur” Numberplate: For Sale after a misguided bloke
bought this for his (now ex) girlfriend for a joke
