Batten down the hatches: The Flying Martinis are coming!
For someone whose dream is to be a travel writer (with the inevitable TV spin off making me a household name, of course) I have something of a predicament. I am a travel hex.
I am the firestarter. A twisted global firestarter, if you will.
I seem to be able to unconsciously cause major world events by involving them in my travel plans. This has happened too often to be a coincidence.
View the evidence, members of the jury.
May 1989: I visit East Berlin. November 1989, the country collapses (yay!) and the Berlin Wall comes down (another yay!). My official statement, which I had prepared should the press call (which they didn’t ) was simple,
“It wasn’t me, honest! I wasn’t leaning against it or nothing. It just happened.”
After we got back from East Berlin, me and my mates did do a human pyramid on the front lawn of the Reichstag, which we meant as an conceptual artistic statement on the whole east west situation*. Could it have been this action, that struck a chord in the minds of some Ossies looking over the wall at us? I’d like to think so.
March 2006: The Flying Martinis are due to go on a school trip to Sri Lanka in June**. Within weeks of the Flying Martinis being asked to join the trip, the years -long ceasefire between Sri Lankan government and the Tamil Tiger rebel forces is broken and violence ensues, plunging the country into renewed civil war.
The North of Sri Lanka is declared a potential no-go zone by all outside foreign offices, and the Tsunami stricken country sees its chances of economic recovery through tourism go spiraling down the drain. We still went though, cos we’re THAT hard. Couldn’t recommend a country to anyone enough. Things have improved slightly since we left, it must be said.
Meeester makes it to the the top of Sigiriya, Sri Lanka, September 2006: Misssy presses the “confirm” button on her e-booking for flights to Thailand. Within a week a military coup is underway against Prime Minister Taksin Shinawatra and tanks fill the streets of Bangkok.
Misssy watches the events live on Sky, making the Homer Simpson “Doh!” noise, with Britney Spears’s “Oops! I did it again!” looping in her head as an earworm.
Mind you as coups go, this one is bit of a laugh. Apparently, most Thai people slept right through it and only one drop of blood was shed when someone cut their finger whilst opening a tin of cashew nuts.
The Martinis make it to Thailand in April 2007 and no damage seems to have been reported.
“Mum, can we keep her?” Indy with fierce friend in Thailand.
Still, the coup is our fault, I firmly believe that the butterfly effect of my visa transaction set events into motion.
December 2007: Having taken delivery of Sonny the Dawg, our travel plans for the coming year will be largely centred around the British Isles. However, we have one overseas commitment in the form of a school trip in 2008. Where? Yup, you guessed it; Kenya!
Looks like that’s off then, eh?
Never mind, travel plans are being adjusted to take in a new alternative destination. Yet to be confirmed, it will be one of the following:
1. Thailand and Cambodia, or
2. Mexico and Belize, or
3. Rajasthan, or
4. Iran
Okay…. that last one is a joke, but you’ll know which of the other three we’ve plumped for when something huge kicks off.
* or larking about, I can’t remember which.
** The event that started me blogging
