Every Time A Bell Rings, An Angel Gets Its Wings
Now, I don’t know how many readers I’ve actually got, because, well you can never really know. Yet, I think I can safely say there’s more than a couple of you out there, so this might work. I am doing a radio show on Sunday December 21st hosted by fellow blogger, DJ, comedian and all round good egg, Andrew Learmonth on our station Original 106FM. As you may know, I am the film critic on the station and we are proposing to do a Christmas Movie Special. This is where you come in. I want to know what you think are the best Christmas films of all time. What are your favourites and why. This, I need to know. I will use this info to come up with my top ten, or to decide which films to include in our hour long film chat. Now, we’ve got the topic established, I am now going to be completely dictatorial and demand that everyone who reads this post comments with their suggestion in the comments box. Even if someone has already mentioned your favourite, still tell me. Popularity is as important as originality. When I say “everyone”, I mean these people: 1. My usual commenters (“God Bless you! Everyone!”) 14. The abusive commenter who called me “a prick” two months ago.
So go on: fave Christmas movie. To the comments box with you. It’s easy; click on the word comments under this post,and if you don’t have an Blogger account, it doesn’t matter- just go anonymous if you’re shy, or type in your name into the Name/URL option, and comment away with all your might. Tell me your opinion and then I’ll post a link to the podcast that your choice may feature in, so you can hear the results. Or excitement of excitements, you can listen live!!!!
2. People who’ve been too shy to comment up to now, but are desperate to.
3. My friends who read this blog, but never comment because they usually comment to my face.
4. My relatives who read the blog regularly but never comment.
5. My relatives who read the blog just to check they are not being slagged off.
6. New readers.
7. Returning readers.
8. The legions of editors, publishers and literary agents who are stalking me with a view to offering me lucrative deals.
9. Actual stalkers.
10. Folk who’ve turned up thinking I’m the porn mistress Missy M, and are buckling back up.
11. Folk just here to pinch that naked drunk guy photo from the last post.
12. Folk who used to comment or read, but think I’ve lost it, so don’t bother much anymore.
13. Spammers on a break.
Chronicles of Junior Misssy
Aslan: Always “Happy to Help”All of a sudden I have become acutely aware that my little girl is growing up fast. Little teeth are getting wobbly, she’s finishing nursery and moving on to school and she’s becoming a lot more independent.
The kids and I went to the cinema tonight and my girl showed there was still a lot of baby left in her, though. Jnr Misssy just can’t sit still in the cinema, and within ten minutes of the film starting, I had taken her to the toilet, taken her for a drink, had to retrieve her shoe from the floor of the row in front of us and had to pick up her spilt sweets from all over the floor to the soundtrack of her wailing.
After fifteen minutes she had given up her seat for my lap, as she always does.
She also talked to me throughout the whole film. Normally, I hate it when people talk through a film but tonight, watching Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, I enjoyed Jnrs commentary immensely. This was, in part, because I realised that I’m not going to have too many years left when my daughter wants to sit on my knee whispering to me, with her arms round my neck and her little hands buried in my hair.
The other reason was her commentary was hilarious. If only it could be an extra feature on the DVD of Prince Caspian.
Highlight One: “Where’s Asda?”
“It’s Aslan”
“Where’s Asdan?”…..
Highlight Two: “Who’s that beaver?”
“It’s a mouse”
“Well, it looks like a beaver to me”……
Highlight Three: “Are the bad men good yet, can I open my eyes?”
“I’d give it a minute”…..
Highlight Four: A little centaur with blond hair and a beard walks on screen, he says nothing, just blows a little horn. Junior Misssy absolutely cracks up laughing in an otherwise silent cinema. Really cracks up. The shot changes to something else, then returns to the little centaur and Jnr Misssy cracks up even more.
I’m reviewing Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian on the radio this Saturday…better read some newspaper reviews beforehand so that I can pretend I was paying attention….
(Podcast here)
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Hello Nation!
Barry Norman: Blessed be the Onion Picklers
This Saturday I am to be heard on the radio. I am ridiculously excited.
My good friend Evelyn is an actual bona fide professional radio DJ and she seems to think that I should be her regular film reviewer on her Saturday morning show. And who am I to argue? Biggest loves: films and talking about films. I am flattered and delighted.
I thought about maybe not mentioning it on the Misssives until I’ve done the first show in case I develop Tourettes midway through and make a pig’s ear of the whole thing (I won’t, Ev, I promise I won’t!). But I’m too excited and have to tell everyone.
I don’t want to big myself up too much, pride coming before a fall and all that jazz, but I reckon I’m far more sincere than Jonathan Ross and I know I have better film taste than him. And after his disgraceful cheek in the presence of the wonderful Terry Wogan on his TV show a couple of weeks ago, I’ve pretty much turned against him. No one suggests that Sir Terry is an onanist; least of all Ross! Outrageous insolence! I shouted at the telly quite fiercely. Give “Film 2007″ to Kermode and be done with it, please BBC.
I was also taken aback last week when I saw that the former mainstay of British TV film reviewing, Barry Norman, has brought out a range of condiments. I kid you not; he has his own brand of pickled onions. “And why not?” as the great man was so fond of saying. They are in Tesco; go and have a look if you don’t Adam and believe it.
I’m taking the whole pickle discovery as a good omen. Don’t ask me why, I just am. It’s as if Barry sent me a good luck message via the supermarket. Cheers Captain. Nice to know you haven’t pegged it since you retired from the box.
Evelyn’s show is broadcast on Original 106FM. I think I’m on around 9am GMT on Saturdays. I suppose I should find out exactly when, really…
This week I am reviewing “Elizabeth: The Golden Age” with the wonderful Cate Blanchett, and I will be choosing a rental DVD of the week. Ev’s given me a generous 10 minute slot and hopefully she won’t have to cosh me after twenty to get me to stop.
