Rage Against the Machine…Misssy style
I hate the word “mandatory” almost as much as I hate the word “more-ish” (and that’s a lot and another blog entirely).
One of the supreme joys of no longer being in an educational establishment for my daily bread, is that I don’t have the obligation to attend “Mandatory Courses”.
The list of these bore-fests was a long one and new recruits were meant to do them all within their first year of employment. I tried to avoid almost every one and I was actually quite good at it. Six years on, I hadn’t completed the list. Result! I didn’t do Disability or Race Relations and guess what, I didn’t upset any one with a disability or of a race different to my own! What are the chances? Could I be a natural?
I actually tried straight off to cut down on my list of college-led Mandatory Courses by pleading exemption with the Personal Development Office. Having just come from a previous workplace that was anxious to obtain their “Investors in People” status (load of old cock), I had already done the MANDATORY list of;
- Dealing with Disability (despite the fact the old boss shared Hitler’s view on that particular issue)
- Sexual Harrassment in the Workplace (Ha! Have you read the blog about my old boss?)
- Time Management (during which I stressed about meeting deadlines due to having to attend mandatory courses)
- Fire and Safety ( I got to let off a fire extinguisher , woo-hoo!)
- Manual handling ( I don’t DO lifting, I have students/runners, darling)
- Teambuilding (something to do with being stranded on the moon, I dunno)
However, the college were unimpressed. I had to do them all again, so that tickity boxes could be ticketied. And of course, this being a college there was about twenty other bollocks courses that I had to add to the list. Including:
- Working with Bubblewrap and Sellotape
- Child Protection Despite the Fact You Don’t Work With Children
- Falling Over By Mistake and Not Suing the College
- Teaching and Assessment the Hard Way
- Classroom Management without Weapons
- Being Ridiculously Politically Correct
- Toadying to Visiting Politicians in the College Environs
- Obliterating Any Chance of Enjoyment or Learning Through Health and Safety
- Stress Management Through Repression and Not Moaning about Stuff
- Going Outside Safely
And…the absolute corker of:
- Drug Awareness.
It is on the Drug Awareness Course that I will be blogging next. Bring sandwiches.
