The Curse of the Christmas Number One
Roy Wood of Wizzard was on the Chris Evans show last week. He said somewhat wearily,
“This is the only time of year I get work…sigh”.
I have been thinking about him ever since. And every time I wonder about him and how he fills the rest of his year, I have images of him dressed up for that Christmas single, “I wish it could be Christmas every Day”.
In Spring, he maybe has trouble with those cold April windy showers whipping his cape about his face as he struggles down to WH Smith for more glitter.
In Summer, I see him struggling to mow his lawn in the high temperatures, in silver platform boots and melting silver face paint.
Come Autumn and the turn of the season, there he is, whiling away the darker days in an armchair, filling in the pages of Puzzler with glittery nail varnish on the tips of his fingers. He may pick up the odd gig at Halloween and gets his cape dry cleaned just in case.

See how Misssy hashed Roy’s right hand by clicking the pic
(Echoes of Jeremy Beadle)

Roy in his high viz company cloak
(he’s got a part-time job at Tesco according to my local sources)
Poor Roy…a whole year of killing time until after November when the phone is practically ringing off the hook.

So as we embark on probably the most unproductive week of the year, spare a thought for all those other people who work extra hard at Christmas and aren’t spending their time doing races down the corridor in their office chairs and eating Quality Street.
Here’s a few I’ve thought of.
1. Anyone working in the mince pie sector.
2. Anyone working in the Amazon packing department
3. Aled Jones
4. The Accident and Emergency doctors and nurses
5. The suppliers and manufacturers of the morning after pill
6. The suppliers and manufacturers of Prozac
7. Slade
8. All the Neighbours cast and all TV reality show stars as they are all in panto
9. Posties
10. A certain bearded someone (who isn’t Noel Edmonds).
11. The psychiatrists assigned to the runners up in the X-Factor.
12. Turkey slaughterers.
Okay, all together now…..
“Oh I wish it could be Christmas every day…..!”
instead of any X-Factor guff. C’mon the Arab Strap man!
Stop Press: Right! That’s it. I am officially in the huff. I am not going to write another post until at least one of the Misssives readers has commented to liken my drawings of Roy Wood to those of the young Da Vinci. Misssy, 18th Dec


