Excuses, excuses

Don’t you hate it when you read a blog and the blogger in question gives a long and boring explanation as to why she’s not been posting much/her blog’s turned to a complete sack of crap? (Delete as appropriate).

Don’t you also hate it when the reason they give for this lack of attention to, let’s face it, something that very few people could actually give a stuff about, is something nauseatingly self congratulatory? Something like “Sorry for not posting, people, but I’ve been so busy with spending my lottery win…” or “Sorry for not posting people, it’s just that what with that affair I’m having with (insert actor of choice here-used to be Brad Pitt was a popular choice, suddenly not so much now he’s grown a raggedy old beard. Gerard Butler, then. Except don’t you think he looks like a potato?) I’m lucky if I can make my way to the computer for physical exhaustion”.

Well, I am that nauseating blogger. The Misssives have suffered of late. Effectively they’ve suffered for the whole of this year, and my attendance on some of your blogs has also been pitiful. Nauseating reason? Well it’s because I wrote a book with a certain other recently sloppy blogger called Emma. It was a lot of work, we had our ups and downs, like finding an agent, then finding out she was a crappy agent, and and feeling very sorry for ourselves, but then carrying on anyway. But then, last month, a rather splendid Australian publishing company with impeccable taste bought our book. So the nauseating reason is, we wrote a book called Cocktails at Naptime and it’s getting published. With illustrations and everything! Huzzah!

I promise not to turn into one of those awful people who bang on about their book all the time, but I will let you know when it’s out there (November 2010) in case you want to shoplift a copy.

I’m editing it just now (because there are loads of shit bits that have to be made not shit) so again posting may be light for the next couple of months. Just wanted to tell you my news and let you know that I really appreciate the people who still do read the blog and comment occasionally. It will go back to being a worthwhile read soon, I promise.

C’mon it’s not that bad, I could have been blogging about the state of my teeth every week (doing fine with the braces, by the way- amazing improvement- I look like Marie Osmond) or my dog (The Black Menace is fine, he’s still pulling me off my feet and biting the face off the odd soft toy, but otherwise he’s a little champione) or my husband (Meeester got singled out by the dame in a panto we went to on Saturday and ridiculed- it made his day. He now wants to be a pantomime dame. Those reading this who know him will be able to visualise this). Or what my kids are up to (that’s them at the top of the post standing next to the dead sperm whale that washed up on the beach beside us-. We know how to entertain them kids, we really do. You’ve never smelled anything like it in your puff).

And, so, how are you?

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December 7, 2009. blogging, books, Emma K, excuses, writing. 15 comments.

Press Publish and Be Damned

I have been issued with a blog warning.

“Things are going to happen that you’ll want to put on your Bebo” says a favourite family member, “But you’ve not to, okay?”.I don’t point out to her that I’m not on Bebo, and that what I do is called a Blog, for I know what she means and I don’t want to come across as argumentative as well as horrifically indiscreet and all loose cannony.

I am to go to a family event where members of an extended family whom I’ve never met but I am assured are wild and colourful and BLOGGABLE will be there. It’s going to be too much to bear but I am used to having to stifle the blogging urge when anything good happens. I worked in an FE college for six years for goodness sakes, every day was a blog I couldn’t write.

Effectively there’s only three sets of folk that I am allowed to take the absolute rip out of:

Set One: Me

Set Two: Meeester, who claims I don’t blog enough about him and in fact the whole blog should be renamed “The World of Meeester” and should solely be about him, and more dangerously,

Set Three: Folk that will never ever read this blog ever and hence won’t know I’ve taken the piss out of them (think evil Canadian medics who call me “testy”)

This week someone who blogs to great acclaim got a similar yet far more official type of warning. NightJack the formerly anonymous police blogger had his identity outed by a journalist and was told to blog no more lest he lose his job. In fact, he’s already been given a written warning.

On finding out he was to be outed NightJack tried to get an injunction to stop his identity being revealed. However the judge saw no reason why anyone who chose to write about their life on the internet should be given any kind of privacy or protection. What a shame this is. Mainly I think for the police force itself. What amazing PR the NightJack blog has been. The police have a hard time gaining public sympathy and the fact that someone was blogging about what it was like at the sharp end of regular policing seemed to me to be a vent for unofficial view about what police officers have to face on a daily basis and a commentary on how they really feel about government law and order initiatives and news coverage of what they do. This is not only compelling for a reader but, secretly, I bet every police officer who read it was silently cheering NightJack on for putting their point of view across.

Another excellent emergency services blog (and latterly a book), Random Acts of Reality, written by an ambulanceman got the full backing of the Ambulance Service for that reason.

I can see both sides of the argument. On the one hand a no holds barred account of policing gives a view into a profession that those not in it will never otherwise empathise with, but on the other hand you could argue that the views represented are not being sanctioned by the police PR machine and may even prejudice court cases in more extreme examples. NightJack was always very careful to make sure no prejudicial details were included and that no names were ever used, but you can see the danger nonetheless, I suppose.

I’m sure that the police force were secretly happy to let an anonymous police officer blog in the way NightJack did and were privately pretty pissed off when his identity was revealed. As soon as his name was in the public domain they had to do something about him and more importantly, be seen to do something about him.

What I really don’t understand is the motives of the journalist who outed him. I can only assume they concern professional jealousy of his award winning success. How would that journalist feel, for example, if his sources were revealed? It’s a shame that the judge didn’t look upon the blogger’s anonymity in the same way.

Anyway, it’s the blogger’s lot; publish and be damned…or lose your jobs and friends if you write up the really juicy stuff. All the best subjects are ones which you shouldn’t really touch. Like family events which are like an episode of Shameless.

Still as long as I’ve got Meeester taunting me to blog about him with japes like this to catch my attention, then I’ll never be short of material.

Meeester’s latest cry for blogattention:

Putting fake flowers in the shrubbery

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June 18, 2009. anonymity, blogging, Me and Meeester, Nightjack, poli. Leave a comment.

Empty brain here

Let’s get on with the third installment of my blogging research study which I’m now calling The Blogpsyche because it sounds sci-fi and exciting like a scientific device in Barbarella.

Before we get onto Part Three I would like to do you all the courtesy of answering my own questions from Part Two of Blogpsyche, the research for my talk about blogging at The Word Festival in Aberdeen, that you, yes you, can be a part of, simply by telling me your own thoughts on your blog and blogging in general.

Here are the previous questions and my answers:

1. Did you write stuff at all before starting your blog? Tell me more…

Yes, all the time. First of all, I do write stuff for a living anyway but nothing exciting, just scripts for productions at work and educational/corporate material, so that doesn’t count. Man, the things I’ve had to write about…..jeez. But in terms of writing for fun, I have little notebooks full of crapola from my brain all over the place. But none of it is anything more than stuff to remind me of places I’ve been or things I’ve seen. I wouldn’t show them to anyone, but now I think they could be useful to turn into other things that I would show to people, like blog posts or short stories or…gasp…books. I have also sporadically kept a diary, volumes of which are kept encased in a chest made of Kryptonite in a secret cavern in the South Pole protected by an army of psychotic polar bears.

In addition to all that, as I’ve already mentioned, I used to write big long group emails to people when on my travels and before that letters, which sadly I can’t get back to find out what I was doing and thinking when I was in Germany and Spain as a student, or New Orleans as a illegal immigrant worker, or on that Guyanan penal colony when I was convicted as a murderer and then escaped with only a half blind Dustin Hoffman for company.

2. Did any other writers or bloggers inspire you when you started?

Oh absolutely yes, and they still do. I think I have to name names. My friend Cammy of Stuff on TV made me wise up to the fact that I had to get onto a proper blog platform and start doing this properly for a wider audience. He’s also very funny. In terms of style I read Little Red Boat by Anna Pickard and thought, she’s so funny and she writes about everyday stuff, and her personality comes across through her writing style. She’s consistently good. I was also a big fan of Tired Dad, who would always tell stories instead of just keeping a diary. He inspired me a lot. There’s a hole in my blog reading list since he stopped. On a similar theme I’ve enjoyed the style of Danny Evans of Dad Gone Mad, although his blog has changed slightly since his book deal, which is a common thing, I guess with successful bloggers who then get published. This is not a criticism, just an observation. I’m not surprised he’s been published. He can take the most mundane occurance and make it funny with the way he uses language.

Another ex-blogger who has now stopped for personal reasons was Running in Wellies who used to edit a blog magazine, and would include material from The Misssives in the stuff she selected for inclusion and also became a regular reader/read of mine. She brought me readers and confidence. I miss her. Another early find of mine was Emma K from Mommy Has a Headache who has become a friend and writing buddy on a project. More recently Kate Lord Brown of What Kate Did has inspired me to take my writing to the next level, and to think more seriously about it. Her blog is a must read for aspiring writers.

3. Has blogging inspired you to write material outside of your blog?

Well, I’ve already indicated some of this above. I have been included in the blog book “You’re not the Only One” edited by ex-blogger Peach. I cannot over state how exciting and inspiring this was for me. I am sat side by side in the book with many of the bloggers who inspired me in the first place and immensely grateful to Peach for including me.

I am now writing two books- one non-fiction book written with a co-writer which has only just been taken on by a literary agent and another fiction one on my own which I hope to concentrate on more when the first one is finished/or, fingers crossed, accepted by a publisher. I also send short stories to magazines when I have time. I didn’t send my writing anywhere until I started blogging. This is largely due to the confidence I’ve been given by readers. So thanks to you all.

I also am still chugging away writing material for industry eight hours a day but that’s for bread, not for kicks. No one writes about the effects of Hydrogen Sulphide on the human body for kicks. Not even Stephen King.

OK, it’s your turn.

Here are the three questions for Part Three of the snazzily named Blogpsyche. Even if you haven’t been involved up to now, go ahead and answer them. And you can still answer my previous questions by going here and here:

1. Has your blog ever got you into trouble?

2. Where do you draw the line in your blog?

3. What has been family and friends’ reaction to your blog?

As before, if you don’t want to comment publically but still want to tell me something you can email me as a few of you have already done.

I look forward to reading your comments.

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February 6, 2009. blogging, Blogpsyche, reactions to blogs, writing. Leave a comment.

Every Day I Write the Book

Robert Burns: Would he have blogged?

Definately. What better way to get the ladies?

First of all, thanks to all who responded to my initial three questions about blogging. Ahh, you’re just great, so you are. If you missed it, then click here to put your oar in the comments box. There’s no time limit, despite what I said earlier.

So to recap, for those who missed the last post, or for any goldfish reading, I’m doing some research for a talk I’m going to give on blogging. In the next wee while I’m asking my blogger readers some questions about their blog-life.

But before I wade in with your next set of questions, one commenter asked me via the email, whether I was going to answer my own questions. It is only fair. Here are my answers to the first three questions from the Misssives post What’s It All About, Alfie? (Which was very nearly What’s it All About, Archie?, after my sister’s father in law sang the wrong words, but only she would have got it, and you would have thought me a mental, so I reverted).

1. What prompted you to start a blog in the first place?
I was doing a lot of travelling in one particular year. First off, I took ten of my students on an exchange trip to Finland for two weeks. During that time I sent regular group emails to friends and family with stories of the goings on of my students and impressions of the land of Death Metal that is Finland. People seemed to find them funny and some people even wrote to me to say that they had read bits to friends or passed them on. Two months later I was off to Sri Lanka on a school trip with my husband (check me!). I was speaking to my own students about how I could set up a travel website so that I could put up my diary for my friends and family, and one of my students said I should do it as a blog. I didn’t know what a blog was. My students set me up with a Myspace page, and off I went.

This kind of thing would happen quite a lot when I was a lecturer. My students also showed me how to retrieve voice mail messages off my mobile, send texts and they told me what a MILF was. Since I left teaching I wonder what stuff I’m missing, now I don’t have them to keep me right.

2. What keeps you doing it?
It has an addictive quality, doesn’t it? Once back from Sri Lanka, I missed doing it, so I started blogging outside of travelling. Pretty soon I started reading other people’s blogs and this lead to the realisation that I was on the wrong blog platform. I didn’t use the acronyms OMG or WTF or LOL and I hadn’t a photo of myself with a fringe over one eye, my breasts exposed and my cheeks sucked in. Myspace was not for me. I moved to Blogger and started the Misssy M Misssives properly. One of the first things I started to read was Post of the Week which introduced me to others’ blogs. When I got first shortlisted for Post of the Week myself, I felt so excited I was nearly sick. Even though I don’t think it got me many readers, it gave me a bit of validation which I think I needed when I first started. In fact POTW isn’t doing so well recently…you should all go over and start nominating blog posts you like to reinvigorate it, it is a great idea. See my side bar for a link.

Nearly three years on I would have to say that the readers and feedback I get is a part of the reason I still do it. But to be honest I’d still be writing blogs even if I got no comments. I can’t imagine giving up, it’s part of my life. Even my friends have started calling me Misssy. Misssy’s not my real name, you do know that, right? What would that say about my parents’ literacy levels?

3. Has it evolved into anything different as time has gone on?
Well, yes and no. It’s not a travel blog anymore, because I’m not travelling all the time, more’s the pity. I suppose it’s just a personal blog, but I do try to tell stories rather than write a diary. Occasionally, I try different things, like I have recently stuck up a short piece of fiction, and then I had a heated debate which seemed to go down well. I rarely do serious stuff, so I suppose I err on the side of humour. I can’t see that changing. Life’s too serious as it is.

I’d also like to think my writing’s got better. Because if it hasn’t then…. oh dear.

****

And so to the next set of questions for you all. To the comments box with you!

1. Did you write stuff at all before starting your blog? Tell me more…

2. Did any other writers or bloggers inspire you when you started?

3. Has blogging inspired you to write material outside of your blog?

Again, email if you don’t want to share publically. In the words of Dr Frasier Crane, “I’m listening…”

STOP PRESS: Part three questions now up. Click here!

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January 29, 2009. blogging, writing. 1 comment.

What’s it All About, Alfie?

I have been asked to give a talk about writing for the Word Festival in Aberdeen. More specifically, the talk is to be about writing a blog. So, in the spirit of research (cloaking nosiness) , I thought I’d turn to the readers of the Misssives (the ones who are also bloggers, that is) and beyond, to get your opinions and personal experience. I have a shedload of material I can say about writing the Misssives, but the whole hour can’t all be about my blog. Can it? No it can’t, narcissism or no.

So, over the next couple of months leading up to the talk, I thought I’d do the odd post where I ask you all a question or two about your blog and your blogging habits. I have loads of questions, actually, but I’ll limit them to two or three per post.

Today, I want to concentrate on one thing; how your blog started.

So, I have three questions.

1. What prompted you to start a blog in the first place?
2. What keeps you doing it?
3. Has it evolved into anything different as time has gone on?

Of course, if anyone is too shy to reveal anything in the comments box- email me. All contributions are welcome.

C’mon fellow narcissists, let’s talk about you!

Stop Press: Jan 29
Thanks for the responses so far- have had a few via email too.For those of you still ruminating- hurry up and comment as I’m putting up the next three questions very soon, (and to the person who mentioned it- I will start the new post with my answers to my initial 3 questions)

If you’ve already given me answers to these questions, you can jump straight to my next three questions on blogging here.

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January 28, 2009. blogging, writing. Leave a comment.

Kick Your Blogroll Up The Arse

I’ve set myself a little project. A project that I’m going to foist on you all.

Over the past few months quite a lot of the blogs I read regularly have upped and died. People I used to read regularly like Tired Dad, Peach, The Woman in Wellies, Joseph etc have just buggered off and stopped writing. Most upsettingly the first blog I ever blogrolled, American Scot the tattooed Atheist stopped blogging even though he promised he wouldn’t. How dare he have a life!

For a while we even lost that minx, Slutty McWhore and jetsetting The Good Woman . Thankfully, the two of them have come to their senses, pulled their writing pants back on and got back to blogging regularly.

But I realise five things:

1. That I’ve become set in my ways in the blogs I read.

2. That I haven’t been actively looking for new good stuff so it’s all my fault.

3. That I pretty much ignore people’s blogrolls, which is a bit stupid.

4. That good blogs are bloody hard to find (there’s some right shite out there, isn’t there? If you don’t believe me try Stumble Upon and you’ll see…).

5. That you can’t rely on your old favourites to keep on keeping on, you’ve got to seek out new favourites once in a while.

6. That I can’t count.

So I’m going to start a bit of a meme to gee us all up. It’s called Kick your Blogroll up the Arse.

The Rules of Kick Your Blogroll Up the Arse

(Hint: This is the cut out bit for you to post)

What you do is you go to four of your favourite blogs and pick a blog from their blogroll that you’ve never visited or commented on. You then add them to your blogroll or feed, read them for at least a month (by which time there should be no turning back) and give them a chance to invade your life.

Then you duplicate the main part of this post with a note on whose blog you got it from. Stick the four new blogs you are going to read up , tell us briefly why you chose them and whose blogroll they came from. And if you want, coerce others mercilessly into joining in. Then start reading.

I have chosen these:

Mr Farty’s blogroll I have chosen Giggles because she looks a bit of a laugh and I kind of like Australians on the whole. Mainly because I like the way they casually swear without a thought.

From Ms Robinson’s blogroll I have chosen Bossy because I’ve noticed people rave about her and I’ve never read her, so I want to see what all the fuss is about.

From CatGirl’s blog I am going to give Planet Me a go because I like the honesty of the title of the blog and Cat seems to have got excited that he’s “Back! Back! Back!”, so that looks like a good bet.

And from Mommy Has a Headache I chose Annie Rhiannon I clicked her name randomly and went with it because there was a photo of a bloke with red hair and an apple on his head that somehow spoke to me. Then I read a post and realised that my gut feeling was right.

I am passing the meme onto ALL readers of the Misssives, all commenters on the Misssives, everyone in my current blogroll and even those pesky lurkers in the skirting boards. But I officially want to pass it onto everyone whose blog is linked in this post.

Oh and if you do decide to take on the challenge, let me know so that I can zip on over and have a peek.

Consider your autumn evenings filled.

You’re welcome!

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September 8, 2008. Bloggers, blogging, good stuff, kicking your blogroll up the arse, memes, reading. Leave a comment.

Warm fuzzy love sharing project

I don’t tend to blog about blogging, as I’m all about the stories about snails, Meeester wearing a naked suit, my kids violating national monuments and upsetting Germany really, but sometimes you need to stop and reflect on what it is about blogging that makes it all work.

My dear readers, it’s the readers. We all need readers.

For me it’s the readers, the comments, the mentions on your own blogs and the community aspect that make me want to keep telling you stuff I normally only talk about when I’ve had a bottle of Jacob’s Creek on an empty stomach.

The best thing though is when you get a new reader who says hello. I’m sure you’ll all agree. And I don’t think I’ll ever become blase about that. So it’s good to know that one of the very few high rolling bloggers out there feels the same. Danny whose Dad Gone Mad blog is a titan amongst American blogs gets hundreds of readers for every post.

He is consistently funny and self-effacing, that’s why he gets the readers. Last week he shared the luff by asking all of his readers to send him a link to their blog as a bit of self promotion. Post your links and then click on another link or two in the list and say hello, he offered. What a good idea, and what a very, very nice man.

And so I did, and what do you know, I’ve even gained a couple of witty and regular (in visits not toileting: I can’t vouch for the toileting) readers as a result.

So I feel that posting the list here is the very least I can do to carry on the Blogging Torch of Bloggolove (not actual name…I just came up with that. Bet Saatchi and Saatchi are shitting themselves, eh?).

Click on a link or two and leave a comment so devastatingly witty that the fellow blogger has no choice but to link back to you, read your blog and become a new blogfriend. You may get readers, you may get more good blogs to read. What can possibly go wrong?

Thanks to a certain Miss Random Ramblings for compiling all the URLs.

Of course, for anyone from the list who is landing on the Misssives, check out my Blogroll at the side for all my personal recommendations. I like ‘em, so you might.

The List:

and some of my own:

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May 3, 2008. blogging, readers. Leave a comment.

Anyone got an airbrush?

Not a photo of me
(it’s Monica Bellucci)
But it’s the one that’ll go up if I can’t find one beautiful enough

I’m toying with the idea of putting my photo on the blog proper.

Reasons:

1. I’m not really particularly anonymous, I mean you can click on the radio bits and hear me speaking, and being called my actual name, so why the shyness?

2. It actually surprises me how many anonymous blogs there are out there. I can see the point in some, but not most. Are we all afraid to stand by what we write? Are we all just a big bunch of Jessies?

3. The Misssives isn’t a diary. I don’t get too personal. There’ll be no Girl With a One Track Mind bottom fixated naughtiness over here, I tell you that! (Cue the sound of readers leaving)

4. I don’t tend to trash anyone who knows me, so anyone would be hard pushed to get angry about anything I’ve said about them. In fact, putting the pic up might act as a protective charm (guess who’s just finished all the Harry Potter books) against going all silly and drunkenly blogging about some cow who upset you at work, that I’ll have to get up in the middle of the night to delete.

5. I don’t blog about work on the whole. Even when I used to do very bloggable work, I resisted the temptation (as it would have got me the sack and wouldn’t have been fair on my students as a lot of them were fecking eejits but were too young to know so can hardly be blamed. That, and the fact I was very fond of the fecking eejits as they were hilarious and bless).

I don’t blog about work now, because it is too dull and I wouldn’t want anyone to think of the Misssives as being less than a carnival of raciness. But not Belle De Jour raciness, you understand. (Cue sound of some more readers leaving).

6. I think it may make the blog feel more personal. And while the artist’s red impression of me (To your right. Artist: Curly Niece. She does commissions, I get 15%) will stay, I feel it may be time to stick my actual face up here.

7. It will be funny to see if any of you got the impression I was completely different looking than my actual self from what I write. You know when you google someone you’ve only heard on the radio and they look like a horse or a bloated dead body and you are a wee bit disturbed from that point forward? Well that might happen. Or not.

8. The photo will not be a naked one (Cue sound of final reader leaving)

Why is this decision tooo difficult, though? I’ve posted photos before as part of the posts, why not have one in the top corner? Why does this feel like such a big deal?

Are you anonymous or not? And why?

Discuss.

April 8, 2008. anonymity, blogging, photos. Leave a comment.

Sadly, My Daddy was just A Bank-Robber

Nepotism in action, yesterday

Off travelling?

Yes! I’m doing that Gap Year thing like a twat.

Thinking of writing a blog whilst you’re there?

Yes! I figure if Misssy M can do it, then so can I!

The perhaps the Guardian might showcase it on their website?

Oh that’d be lovely! Flipping heck that was easy! I didn’t have to spend years building up a readership or anything.

Oh but hang on…

What is it? Oh, will the blog have to be good? Maybe original or refreshing?

No, no that’s not a problem. It’s just, well…your Dad’s not a travel writer on first name terms with the travel editor of the paper is he?

No, my Dad works for the gas board.

Oh dear. Better sling your hook then. Get to obscurity and damn your insolence!

*******

For those of you who haven’t seen this story already. It’s this:

A 19 year old man-boy has hugely dull and unimaginitive first blog post showcased on the Guardian Travel site. What has he done to garner such a gig? He’s got the right parents. Luckily the site’s commenters sussed this out straight away. Read the blog, but then, even better, read the comments. Some comments are evil (some Guardian site commenters make Genghis Khan look like a pussycat) but most are extremely funny.

Just a little note to all my overseas readers writing incisive, witty and dedicated blogs about life abroad. You know who you are. My dears, don’t be down about the fact that the Guardian chooses to showcase the mutterings of an annoying teenager traveling the well beaten track of Thailand courtesy of his Daddy’s connections in the travel writing game.

Don’t be annoyed that they chose to do this instead getting off their arses and actually reading any of the quality blog writing already out there with a proven track record, authenticity and readers.

Don’t be disheartened ….because poor little backpacking Max Gogarty will be lucky if he can get a letter posted without vitriolic comment when the Guardian website regulars are finished with him.

Read of the week, this. Says a lot about the media today, I think.

Read the original post here.

And then read the response from the Travel Editor who needs a kicking here.

February 19, 2008. blogging, Daddies, Guardian, Max Gogarty, media, nepotism, travel, writing. Leave a comment.

Dawn of the Misssives

I don’t blog about blogging as a rule. But I have been tagged to write about the evolution of the Misssives by the Flying Tattooed Atheist, Mr American Scot, and he’s bigger than me, so I better get to it. I’m not going to take you on a trawl of previous Misssives, you can do that yourself (good luck with that one! Maybe get yourself a hobby while you’re at it?)

I am going to write about The Dawn of the Misssives.

Last year I went on two mammoth trips. In April I took ten college students to Finland for a two week exchange. Then in July I accompanied my husband, a couple of his schoolteacher colleagues and twenty-four school pupils on a school trip to Sri Lanka.

I had never even heard of blogging really. And I had only ever read one blog; that of a friend who blogged about her leukaemia that was discovered whilst she was carrying twins (all now healthy!). It never occurred to me to blog anything.

I have always done a good bit of travelling and during those times abroad, I have been a prolific letter writer and latterly, emailer. Finland was no exception. When you are the the only lecturer in sea of teens/twenty somethings, you need to vent somewhat. So, I wrote a series of emails to a group of friends and family, which helped me not only cope with the responsibility, but see the funny side of potentially horrendous incidents.

All of these stories will come out in the Misssives in time, as each one is worthy of its own post, but I’ll give you an idea of the content of the emails that came forth from the Arctic Tundra of Finland and plopped into the inboxes of my people back home:

1. Oh my god, naked sauna! With the students? You are kidding me!

2. Oh my god, a Finnish traditional food banquet! Bleuuurgh! Fish eyes?

3. Oh my god, Finnish blokes are like something out of Lord of the Rings, I must photograph the worst of them!

4. Oh my god! Two of my male students did a three way with a Finnish girl! And I know about it! Whyyyyy?

5. Oh my god! How do I get out of staying at the dull Finnish male teacher’s house for the weekend?

6. Oh my God, I went ice swimming! I can hang wet duffel coats on my nipples, four hours after! (See photo)

7. Oh my God, I met the presenter of Finnish “Have I Got News for You”, or as they say in Finland “Uuitisvuouto”(see photo!)

8. Oh my God, some of the students are doing my nut in! And I’m not allowed to kill them!

What was annoying about the Finnish emails was that I now have no record of them. I would love to read them now and have a laugh at what we did.

After all these epic emails, my people kept on telling me how funny they were. Mainly, they were laughing fuelled by Schadenfreude, I guessed. So, when Sri Lanka came round, they expected more of the same, but I had to find a better way of doing it.

So, like in most situations where I don’t know how to do something new fangled, I asked my students and they put me onto Myspace, which apparently has a blog function.

For the whole of the Sri Lanka trip I told stories via my Myspace blog, and it did the job just fine. After about two months of being home, I missed the writing part. I wanted to tell more stories; I realised I didn’t have to be abroad to have stuff to say. I used the myspace blog and I began to get more and more readers.

Then, I saw my friend Cammy’s blog on something called blogspot and it just looked and felt more serious, so I flipped over to blogspot and this is where you find me now.
I post on here, and I copy the posts over to myspace for my readers there a day later.

I think about blogging the same way I think about tattoos. Don’t decide you want a tattoo and then choose whatever comes to mind to have done like you’re at a Pick ‘n’ Mix counter in Woolworths. Have something so beautiful and personal that you absolutely must have it emblazoned via some permanent medium, like a tattoo.

The same goes for blogging, in my opinion. Don’t just decide to write a blog. Have something you want people to know, stories you want to tell, and then use the medium of blogging to do that.

And don’t blog about blogging. It means you’ve run out of stories.

Damn!

October 2, 2007. Bloggers, blogging, blogs, Duffle coats, finland, Pick and Mix, three-ways. Leave a comment.

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